Well... It's 2016 already. Time is going so fast. Things start, and come to an end so fast. Most of us want to enjoy it all, before it ends. I don't think that is an achievable goal. I do think, we can go for that what we want. We can achieve a lot, but we must work for it. But at what cost? N. and I are over. At least for the moment. Since last Friday. So many fights. My doctor has told me my aorta seems to be stable. We didn't think it was for the last four years. Yes, it is good, but my whole head needs space to reorganize. This problem with my aorta was kind of a big one to me, I didn't think I would reach the age of 30. Now there is a chance. The stress around the appointment with my doctor was too much for the relationship of N. and me. He has stress from his school, I have stress because of my body. It was just too much. We are trying to figure out now, if we can get back together. I don't know. I'm scared. I don't want to hurt him anymore. I am looking to start a new life. Away from all the negativity I was in the last few years. I hope N. will be with me when I get to start it. At this moment I am looking what I want. I want to study. Social work, HRM or psychology. I want to help people. Make them feel better. I want to give people hope. Maybe one day I will. I want to be happy. I just have to find the way to get there. And I'm not done searching.
Love,
Rose