Hi everyone,
Well, I guess I'm seeing ghosts now. N. does rent an apartment in the same flat as I do, below me. Yesterday, I had a flat tire on my bike. A friend of mine helped me fix it in the bicycle storage of my flat. Well, there we were. Just talking. But then I looked up and saw N. looking at me through a window. Then he was gone. I was frozen. I miss him so much and I didn't expect him to stand there. But when I went looking in the hall behind the door, he wasn't there. The friend that helped me fixing my tire didn't see him. So I guess I imagined it. Wouldn't be that far-fetched. I dream he sleeps with me all night on a daily basis. But yeah, just a delusion I guess. He blocked me on whatsapp now. And on Facebook he has a new pic, I think taken at his girlfriends house. So he couldn't even be here yesterday. He was with her. I checked. He wasn't even home. Stupid me. What would he do here if he could be with her? She lives in a city that's an hour away from here. So traveling here and than to her would take to much time.
Today is the first of November. This is the day my father died 18 years ago, when I was five years old. Before I was born he left my mother. November 3rd in 1998 was the day his brothers, my uncles, were at my mothers house to tell her he died. I am doing my bachelor on the university and he isn't even here to be proud of me. I don't know if he would be. But now I don't even have the chance on having a proud dad. I don't know if I told you guys already, but I'm going to be an aunt. My sister is pregnant. I feel so happy about it, but it hurts my father isn't here with me to support me and celebrate with us. It's scary. What if I'm a bad aunt? Well. I need to put an example. If I can do my bachelor, he or she can achieve a lot! Just stay strong. I hope, wherever you are, you're proud of me, dad. I miss you. I need you.
Love,
Rose
Well, I guess I'm seeing ghosts now. N. does rent an apartment in the same flat as I do, below me. Yesterday, I had a flat tire on my bike. A friend of mine helped me fix it in the bicycle storage of my flat. Well, there we were. Just talking. But then I looked up and saw N. looking at me through a window. Then he was gone. I was frozen. I miss him so much and I didn't expect him to stand there. But when I went looking in the hall behind the door, he wasn't there. The friend that helped me fixing my tire didn't see him. So I guess I imagined it. Wouldn't be that far-fetched. I dream he sleeps with me all night on a daily basis. But yeah, just a delusion I guess. He blocked me on whatsapp now. And on Facebook he has a new pic, I think taken at his girlfriends house. So he couldn't even be here yesterday. He was with her. I checked. He wasn't even home. Stupid me. What would he do here if he could be with her? She lives in a city that's an hour away from here. So traveling here and than to her would take to much time.
Today is the first of November. This is the day my father died 18 years ago, when I was five years old. Before I was born he left my mother. November 3rd in 1998 was the day his brothers, my uncles, were at my mothers house to tell her he died. I am doing my bachelor on the university and he isn't even here to be proud of me. I don't know if he would be. But now I don't even have the chance on having a proud dad. I don't know if I told you guys already, but I'm going to be an aunt. My sister is pregnant. I feel so happy about it, but it hurts my father isn't here with me to support me and celebrate with us. It's scary. What if I'm a bad aunt? Well. I need to put an example. If I can do my bachelor, he or she can achieve a lot! Just stay strong. I hope, wherever you are, you're proud of me, dad. I miss you. I need you.
Love,
Rose