Lately I feel kinda strange. I am quitting my antidepressants. Everything feels so far away. I feel more awake when I'm asleep. My dreams are very intense, but the reality feels so blurry. It isn't going well right now. Lots of crying, insecurity and quite some pain. My disease didn't get much worse, but the pain gains. A few days ago, I just broke. I cried and screamed. Nobody was home, so I could let myself go for a moment. Not that I was able to stop myself. But in that panic attack, I saw myself in the mirror, crying. At that moment I realized, I am breaking myself. That is why I feel depressed for such a long time. I need to figure out what I want and need. Then I will make a plan, how to get there. Hopefully that will help me to get back on my feet again. I don't want to be this way anymore. I want to go to this blog and tell you people how well I am doing and bring some positivity, so I can give some positivity back to you all. I will find my strength. And I want to share it.
Thanx for listening. I needed to write something.
Love,
Rose